i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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