At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
even my farts smell like vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
