I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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