No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize