i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
