Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
