I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
