I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
