I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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