I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
