HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
