Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
