But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
