party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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