I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
