i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
