he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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