Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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