ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
