I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
