she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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