it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
