Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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