It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
