he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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