when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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