It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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