when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
