she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
