he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
