people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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