I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
