I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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