the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That accounts for only three of the penises
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
