dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
