no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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