Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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