Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
