why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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