I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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