Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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