I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
