Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
