Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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