Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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