she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
