batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
