I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
