You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
