At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am available for nakedness
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
