i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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