You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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