We need to rekindle our bromance
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
