apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
