Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
